Date: Saturday, April 19, 2008 @ 9:32 PM

hellos guys.
i duno how todescribe this feeling i have nw in my heart.
hmm.
is a mixed feeling.
mayb sumone culd teach me hw to solve my problems?
or beta, solve it for me.

OK.
im actuallyfeeling quiet peaceful now.
at least, im worries free.
and i have many friends who are there to support me, trying their best to give me suggestions and advices.
thnks guys, u guys reallie helped alot.
they sae, i worth alot more.

howeva, theres another part of me dat feels this wae --

a little sorry.
i noe im nt e type of girrls hu are very gentle and understanding.
bt thats me.
i noe i have a bad temper.
and i hurt pple around me easily.
i can swear, i didnt mean it.
i noe my expectations are high.
i have my reasons.
i have my phobia
i have my problems.
im forced to grow up in such stituation dat leads me to wad im todae.
i dun have a choice.

a little angry
i feel i worth alot more.
i have tried my best.
i can even sae he is the person i eva treated so well.
i put in my heart and soul.
i tot he will at least appreciate it.
bt..

a little disappointed
i tot he wuld make me stay.
with sincerity
bt all he can sae was he is tired.
pls. im tired too.
a dae past.
48hours.
mayb wen he sees my post, 3days mite have past.
mayb dats all i culd wait.
i tired to sms him.
he reply with less den five words.
this is how much he actually care.
i noe he thinks dat he is nt in the wrong at all.
bt he will never understand hw i feel.
he just refuse put himself in my shoes.
is ok.
i dun understand him neither.
so, who can i blame.

a little uncertain, a little fearful
i reallie duno if i wanna end this way.
i still love him.
bt. i dun wanna be treated this wae.
and im no longer sure if he still loves me as much.
just 'i love you' doesnt make me believe anymore.
wad i need nw, is definitely more den dat.
security, sincerity etc.

im afraid i wuld lose him just like dat.
bt, im afraid if i were to give in, this wuldnt end here.
the nightmare continues.
if dats the case, i rather let it go.
i reallie have enuff.
time and again i picked myself up after falling.
enuff scars and heartbreaks.

love shuldnt be a burden.
many pple told me is a clear cut dat he is nt the guy for me.
bt still,
i haven and i culdnt make myself to face it.
i wun a guy anymore he we broke up for a period of time.
cause things will never be the same anymore.

i just looked and sound happy.
im crying inside.

anyone tell me wad shuld i do..
mayb time will tell







totally heart broken.





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