{ Q }

♥ Date: Wednesday, April 30, 2008 @ 2:56 PM

(:
having blaw tutorial now(:
the teacher so hmmm.
complicated:p
hahas:D
very CHIM);

today is my birthday(:

sweet seventeen<3

hmm..
received many many messages yesterday midnite(:
kenny darling, jace, gitiong and weijun.
lols:D
all guys..
who says guys arent as thoughtful as girrls?(:
hahas.

met liying in the morning as usual.
she came with a present(;
wees.
so touch.
dats from her, guan yu and shun hiang:D
THNKS GIRRLS(;
loves<3

many peeps wished me happy birthday went i reached school(:
most of them are my OG friends.

hmm.
e part im most touched was..
all my OG friends and the edwin our leader gathered in the canteen during lunch time and sang me a loud birthday song(:
they were so secretive before dat;X
OMGawd! im so touch[=
mellisa gave me present from all of my OG friends(:
i was allowed to open and see(:
hahas.
i reallie love what you guys gave me(:
millions of thnks.
you guys rocks:p

thou i didnt have a birthday cake, im happy and content by the fact dat so many of my friends rmbed my birthday.
this is the first birthday i spent with so many blessing and wishes from all the impt peepsin my life.

<3
darling says more surprises are coming up(:
i wan i wan:D
im waiting.
hahas.
i love you darling.
thnk you for ur birthday song<3
you are the best to me(:

25months

two years and one month anniversary<3

this is as impt as my birthday. or maybe more impt(:

darling, we have actually went tis far tgt(:
holding each other tightly.
moving on tgt with the same goals and the perfect love we have for each other.
i reallie treasure the times we have tgt.
thnk you for your love and everything you did for baby.
im sorry if im unreasonable and stubborn at times);
darling, thnk you for accepting the fact dat i love doraemon so much(:
cause he has a round hands:O
hahas((:
i noe nw u love it too:D
WAHAHAS(:
darling dun be jealous:p
i love you e most[=
i hope we will last foreva.
i noe you wan me to be ur baby foreva de:p
blehs!
i love you so much.
you are the best gift the god has gave me(:

Kenny + QingQing = love forever<3

tricheers.
muacks!

♥ Date: Tuesday, April 29, 2008 @ 2:28 PM

wahhh(: im at 'out space' with liying, guan yu, shun hiang and bin han(: the aircon here so.. yea(; so bored.
we have a two hours break(:
the next lecture strts at 3pm.
oh ya, tmr have dss makeup workshop.): till 7pm.
im so tired.
thou sch is beta then home, bt dss is killing me.
excel excel and excel:S
hahas..
i noe dar will send me home:p

hmm. im drinking bubble tea nw(:
lycee red tea:D
gonna be broke soon.
i noe darling likes oreo with jellies ((;
im missing you so much<3

anyways, meeting darling later at 5pm to have dinner tgt[=
wees!

re-paint! my nails):
i hope i e have time tonite^^

♥ Date: Monday, April 28, 2008 @ 9:59 PM

life so screwed.

♥ Date: Sunday, April 27, 2008 @ 10:06 PM

feeling beta todae): still abit feverish i guess. met darling early in the morning.. he really woke up at 830 to call me:D
YAY!
it has been a long time since he call me so early(:
hmm.. felt really weak while walking to meet him.
so i ask dar to come look for me instead(:
brought along my laptop and hmwk to his huse cause i actually wanted to do some tutorial questions dere and we agreed dat i teach him physics.
bt guess wad:X
didnt manage to do any:p
HAHAS!
i wasnt feeling very well so i slpt while darling use my laptop(:
he is so sweet.
bought me lunch and stay beside me all along wen i was slping.
i noe(:
cause there someone who feel my head a few times and give me a kiss while i was half aslp.
darling, im reallie blessed to have you by my side wen i needed you most(:
thnks for the care you gave me.
i love you.you are the best<3

i wanna recover soon!
tmr gonna be a long day):

i miss you darling.

♥ Date: Saturday, April 26, 2008 @ 4:39 AM

): im sick todae.. guess i didnt have enuff rest for quite a lotof days alrdy.. hmm.. feeling alittle feverish, sore throat, cough and flu. poor me]= my whole body is aching. feeling so torn apart. have like so many tutorials haven prepare. actually all. and im suppose to have at least posted once in my blog assignment by nxt friday. plus there will be a make up lecture for POA tmr @ 4-6pm for labour day.

oh ya, just received reply email from the aerobica club incharge. the class is full): no place to join alrdy.. must wait till the next semester which is i think around october like dat]= aww.. no choice. just got to wait.

todae is the second saturday i didnt get to see darling le..
anyways, i reallie dun wanna think too much(:

tricheers for me.
hope to recover soon.

loves.

♥ Date: Thursday, April 24, 2008 @ 10:00 PM

wees! todae's school was not bad(:
met dar and went to his house after class..
hmm.. we had a good talk?
yupps.. and i cried):
i duno.
kant control and hide anymore.
im so tired.
darling lend me his shoulder and i had a good cry.
den he wipe for me(:
after dat i wanted to go home..
darling so cute. he piggy back me from the fifth floor to the first:D
den i strt to go craziie and smile again(:
oh ya..

we now have a twisty song(;
for more info..
look for me! (:

i simply love you darling.
lets stick tgt! <3
loves, twisty XP

♥ Date: Monday, April 21, 2008 @ 11:24 PM

yea! im back. darling apologise to me alrdy. the stuff he says made me so touched. soi decided to forgive bt i will not forget tat this is the last chance i culd afford(:
hmm.. anyways, ytd was great!

went for a run at west coast park in the morning.
i have no idea how long did we run bt we had quite alot of fun!(:
then we wen hm to bath and meet up again at noon.
darling decided to celebrate my birthday in advance cause we mite be too busy on my birthday):
sowe went vivo(:
ate our lunch.
and we shop all around <3
went pass shops again and again..
just to look for my present(:
bag
slippers
jacket
watch
softtoy?
LOLS!

finally saw a 'ice cream' at mini toons(:
a 64cm tall softtoy icecream! <3
loves.
so cute and soft:p
i love it at first sight(:

OH YA,
got a free gift frm mini toons.
sumthing like a bottle that tells fortunes.
hahas.
i wished and got myself a red stick.
guess is a pretty good sign(:
im just curious wad wish did darling make;B

wweeess! we enjoy so much lurhs(:
thou ytd was nthing big.
is a sweet dae(:

yumyum..
i have a bigg ice cream to eat and darling says im suppose to eat it up in two days):
ah biish! ((:
bully me..
wahahas.

i lurve you darling.
thnks for everything.
you so sweet(:

craving for laughters.
loves.

♥ Date: Saturday, April 19, 2008 @ 9:32 PM

hellos guys.
i duno how todescribe this feeling i have nw in my heart.
hmm.
is a mixed feeling.
mayb sumone culd teach me hw to solve my problems?
or beta, solve it for me.

OK.
im actuallyfeeling quiet peaceful now.
at least, im worries free.
and i have many friends who are there to support me, trying their best to give me suggestions and advices.
thnks guys, u guys reallie helped alot.
they sae, i worth alot more.

howeva, theres another part of me dat feels this wae --

a little sorry.
i noe im nt e type of girrls hu are very gentle and understanding.
bt thats me.
i noe i have a bad temper.
and i hurt pple around me easily.
i can swear, i didnt mean it.
i noe my expectations are high.
i have my reasons.
i have my phobia
i have my problems.
im forced to grow up in such stituation dat leads me to wad im todae.
i dun have a choice.

a little angry
i feel i worth alot more.
i have tried my best.
i can even sae he is the person i eva treated so well.
i put in my heart and soul.
i tot he will at least appreciate it.
bt..

a little disappointed
i tot he wuld make me stay.
with sincerity
bt all he can sae was he is tired.
pls. im tired too.
a dae past.
48hours.
mayb wen he sees my post, 3days mite have past.
mayb dats all i culd wait.
i tired to sms him.
he reply with less den five words.
this is how much he actually care.
i noe he thinks dat he is nt in the wrong at all.
bt he will never understand hw i feel.
he just refuse put himself in my shoes.
is ok.
i dun understand him neither.
so, who can i blame.

a little uncertain, a little fearful
i reallie duno if i wanna end this way.
i still love him.
bt. i dun wanna be treated this wae.
and im no longer sure if he still loves me as much.
just 'i love you' doesnt make me believe anymore.
wad i need nw, is definitely more den dat.
security, sincerity etc.

im afraid i wuld lose him just like dat.
bt, im afraid if i were to give in, this wuldnt end here.
the nightmare continues.
if dats the case, i rather let it go.
i reallie have enuff.
time and again i picked myself up after falling.
enuff scars and heartbreaks.

love shuldnt be a burden.
many pple told me is a clear cut dat he is nt the guy for me.
bt still,
i haven and i culdnt make myself to face it.
i wun a guy anymore he we broke up for a period of time.
cause things will never be the same anymore.

i just looked and sound happy.
im crying inside.

anyone tell me wad shuld i do..
mayb time will tell

totally heart broken.

♥ Date: Thursday, April 17, 2008 @ 9:12 PM

okays! heres my post for todae(:
hmm. DSS make up lessons was fine.
the tutor is the best male tutor i eva seen till now(:
he is friendly and have a sense of humor:D
he promoted his book like wad other lectures did.
is money time againXP
HAHAS!

POA was kinda easy.
i mean, compared to some of the other modules.
wees!
bt, i dislike the lecturer.
no reason.
no comments.
LOLS.

met darling todae after my school.
he cooked noodles for me cause he noes im hungry(:
bt no egg.
he sae he dont have the mood to cook an egg.
hahas. duno why he bu shuang with the eggs:X
ahh biish!
we played and 'fight' again((:
and dar played with my lap top.
i noe he wans it alot:D

anyways, darling insisted to send me home thou he is feeling reallie weak.
im touched.
thnk you dar.
you are the best<3

i lurrve you(:

♥ Date: Wednesday, April 16, 2008 @ 9:46 PM

wees! todaes lecture was on macroeconomics. sounded fun(: hahas.
i bought two bks and it cost be 64bucks!
so ex la):
so heavy summore.
anways, met darling after his class todae.
wanted to play pool..
bt went west coast park formac instead(:
dar bought me a sundae hot fudge cause he saw me looking atthe kids sitting next to us eating it:D
HAHAS! darling so sweet((:
im a lil gal in his heartXP
hmm.. so tired todae.
almost fell aslpt on dar's shoulder todae after dat):
yumyum;p
so pig(:

duno if we can meet up tmr.. bti will sure be missing him<3
i love todae.

lurve you dear.
muacks!

peace.
i have DSS make up lessons at nine sharp tmr):

♥ Date: Tuesday, April 15, 2008 @ 12:55 PM

hmm.. here im posting at np(: hahas. things are becoming beta slowly..time helps:D i didnt noe how to reply him. just in a state of confusion. anyways, didnt attend tutorial in the morning wen im suppose to. lols. so pissed with the timetable. is dere make up?): dun wanna fail.. urgh! hmm, i can buy my books alrdy. god bless me((: shuld i get a laptop bag or a skin will limited bucks. everything nids money. walalaXP hopefully i find and reach the lecture theatre in time later:D LOLS!

today shall be a happy and craziie day.
tricheers!
loves<3

♥ Date: Monday, April 14, 2008 @ 10:46 PM

y am i still holding on. still hoping there will be another chance, another again. pple sae i love him too much dats y i culdnt get myself out from the trap. i agree. i love him too much. dat made it even more hurtful. issit time i reallie let go? guess he has alrdy given up. mayb i shuld and is time i must. everything is in a mess and it is screwing up my life. why kant everything be sweet. wad did i do wrong. i have so many problems. i have to handle it myself. this is my life.

REWIND LOVE.

♥ Date: @ 7:09 PM

hmm. im back. very long never post le): hahas. anyways, went bugis witth darling ytd(: yippy! dar wanted to look for skinny jeans(: so we went bugis village first. culdnt find nice and cheap ones. so didnt buy:X oh ya, saw so many 5bucks watches la((: hahas. bt i dun nid itXP den we went bugis junction! darling saw a very nice... hmm.. wad u call it? a baggy shirt with hood(: hahas. 60bucksO.o so ex lo): i noe dar wans it alot.. bt.. we both kant afford. and i kant do much now.. i have to save up for dumb ex textbks): HMM.. nthing much in bugis. so we went the central. i feel is worst den jp. lols! so empty and is full of FOOD FOOD FOOD:S we just walked around and ya, saw a pretty weird person. duno guy or gal. dressed like a gal bt look like guy. anyway, she is covering her face. wahahas(: we ate this fried hokkien me at the kopitiam and it s.... waste my money): so ex somemore. argh:P hahas. shalala. ha. i dun wanna talk abt the ending]= i enjoy myself! and i will try my best to at least help darling with half of the price for dat shirt(: i noe u like it and i wanna buy it for you:D

OK! todae is the first day of sch. poly life.... no comments. it just ruin my mood to study wen i have to run around like mad looking for the stupid lecture theatre. lols.. bks are ex. food sucks and is so damn big): is th the lessons dat are tiring. is the walking dat makes me half dead. hahas. went sch todae for lessons at 10. run around the school and realise the lesson was cancelled after dat. argh.

anyways. dar, i wanna cya soon! <3

♥ Date: Tuesday, April 8, 2008 @ 8:53 PM

finally, i have decided to give up.
i hate the feeling of lost and uncertainty.
i hate to worry, hate liars who break their promises again and again.
like i say, wad has to end will end eventually. is just the matter of time. i have tried time and time again. to forgive and forget.
bt, how many time wuld i be able to do dat. i swear, if things hasnt come to this point where i feel pointless to go on, i wuldnt have made the decision.
he is no longer the one i noe.
true enough, im no longer the one he wants to treasure. im afraid and i culd no longer bring myself to turn back and give it another chance.
wad if. wad if the same thing happen again. i'll be crying till three in the morning again? i just reallised. you are nt the one hu even care. or give a damn. scold me or curse me bt i have to sae. u are selfish. ur stuff, ur rest are more impt then anything else in the world including me. ASK YOURSELF.
did my feelings eva came to ur mind?
u just simply slpt. me? .. though theres someone there for me till three.
bt why issit u. i noe i noe. there is something else u nid to do, i nid to complete RIGHT?
i dun understand.
why someone hu has nthing to do with me can do dat for me. yet u kant. oh pls. you have sch.
nt as if my fren dun have.
it just shows how impt i am and how much u reallie care.
you claim im very impt. even more impt den your life.
yaya. it looks like and the fact tells me dat i kant even be compared to ur sleep.
oh mayb all i have said here is crap to you.
bt just let me tell you.
i just feel like im giving chances again and again to make a fool of myself. e fact is in my face long ago.
and yet i chose to believe you.
bt i noe i will never regret. at least i noe. dats the true you.
and yah. the way to talked ytd n e wae you hang my fone. cool?
like wth. im ur gf mind you. hate it? just tell me. nt forcing u to be with me.
the wae you talk just sucks. just a waste of my time trying to call you back hoping to hear your gentle voice again. i thought about you wheneva i do stuffs. didnt i?
i dun deserve this dumb treatment.

wadeva you gt to sae.
i nt gonna care anymore.
you will nvr understand wad im going thru now. (ok, fine. i dun understand you neither)

♥ Date: Saturday, April 5, 2008 @ 8:40 PM

i always believe dat wadeva has to end will end eventually. time will tell everything.

♥ Date: Thursday, April 3, 2008 @ 7:19 PM

im back. okays. im having quite alot of problems in my life suddenly. i tot everything was wonderful. bt.. my soul wanna be alone. i just wan everything to be OK.

~~craving for inner peace.~~

♥ Date: Wednesday, April 2, 2008 @ 5:54 PM

why a quarrel always had to end this way. issit my fault? :S

speechless.

♥ Date: Tuesday, April 1, 2008 @ 7:26 PM

alrite! ytd had lots of fun with dar after his lessons(: wasnt able to meet him todae.. stayed at home most of the time); bored. going back to KR to get my O lvls cert tmr i nthing morning. pray hard dat i dun see teachers around. thou i miss them, i have nthing to tell them. tell them i rot my life every since secondary life ends? hahas. i have got no i interesting stories. yes, going ngee ann with shin yee after dat to get the software of my course installed in my laptop. oh ya, i got e acer 6292 i guess. hahas. kant reallie rmb the model number. hmm. poly is strting soon. all im worried about is actually the work i have o copy with. anyways, im smiling alot nwadaes. like the lil girrl i used to be(: e mushroom yiwen used to noe, the green green everybody used to see etc.. hahas! may god bless me? ba event in np is coming up soon. meeting my friends again! they are a bunch of nice and friendly peeps! howeva, 4/6 peeps are still the best! yeaXP didnt join them for any of their gatherings cause im busy working and partially due to my curfew . i feeling bad. i hope everyone is doing well.

anyways, camp is REAL FUN! im lazy to post. thers too much to sae wad happened in four long days. bt it is something i'll never regret going for((: delta rocks! (btw, delta is my group name). guess im craziie over it and e cheers!

i say chee hong, you say kia,
chee hong (kia), chee hong (kia).

many more cheers which are great especially the FOC(freshmen orientation camp) cheer((:
lols! im craziie alrdy. missed camp larhs. and the gls. they are good leaders and friends.

peace out(:
i love you<3