♥ Date: Tuesday, June 30, 2009 @ 9:09 PM
woots!FMGT presentation is OVER.i find it pretty fun.my classmates were really funny and we helped each other through the Q&A seesion :]oh ya, i realised the thermometer in school aint very accurate :Xi guess theres gonna be a surprise test for FIT tmr during tutorial.revising alittle right now.daddy watching soccer now, alittle tempted to join in :]hahas.might be hitting the gym tmr at the sports complex tmr if theres no project meeting.projects are chores :[tagg reply:
pk: jia you! btw u gave me a scare just now..hahas..
hahas. did i scare you? :] you ran so fast :p jiayous for your studies! catch up with you soon :D
call me when you are free. takecare girrl.
today was once a special day, i wonder if he still remember.but, is it still important?i guess i should stop thinking so much.im trying my best to stay strong.but how long will i be able to hold oneditted:gonna be project meeting tmr :[
i guess he is moving on with someone else very soon.
♥ Date: Monday, June 29, 2009 @ 10:15 PM
first day of school wasnt that bad.at least i have people to talk to, trying to get use to my life now.met shun hiang at 1045 for lunch for lesson.AAA lessons at 9am is postponed to next friday 2-4pm.anyways, didnt eat much nowadays.it all depends on my mood.had seafood soup and i ate only half a bowl of rice.got back FRP paper today.42 over 50. a little disappointed though.bt its okay. gonna work harder :]gave aerobics a miss today.having serious cramps :[went library after the last lecture to pass the attendance list to yiwei.so nice of her to help me with my job.appreciated! :]headed home at around 430.the dark and greyish sky reflects exactly the way im feeling inside.how is wish the wind could blow away all my troubles and pain, blow away my feelings.i know, i have to depend on myself to be strong.bt it is really very painful.the feeling of being tear apart is killing.however, that shows that im once been so true to someone i placed deep in my heart, believing that he will be my last, my future.its time i face the fact that not every effort and true feelings will be appreciated.no one is able to tell the possibility of being tgt forever.love is beautiful, yet it can be so ugly at some point of time.放手实在逼不得已。我心里的痛没比你少。im emo again.brainwash me. anyone?i need to wake up my mind.nights people.tagg reply:
aaron: hey gal! nice blog u have! Anyway cheer up =)
thanks boy :] you volunteered as my first listener, commence since ytd :D takecares.
i need my heart to beat for myself from now on to keep me alife.bt the change is suffocating me.my heart is struggling for every beat.
♥ Date: Sunday, June 28, 2009 @ 11:00 PM
Take a Bow - Rihannah, how about a round of applause?
Yeah, standing ovation? Ooh, oh yeah
Yeah y-yeah yeah
You look so dumb right now
Standing outside my house
Trying to apologize
You're so ugly when you cry
Please, just cut it out
Don?t tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
And baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show, really had me going
But now it's time to go, curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show, very entertaining
But it's over now
(But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow
Grab your clothes and get gone
You better hurry up before the sprinklers come on
Talking' 'bout, 'Girl, I love you," "You're the one"
This just looks like a rerun
Please, what else is on?
Don't tell me you're sorry 'cause you're not
And baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught
But you put on quite a show, really had me going
But now it's time to go, curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show, very entertaining
But it's over now
(But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow
Oh, and the award for the best liar goes to you
(Goes to you)
For making me believe that you could be faithful to me
Let's hear your speech out
How about a round of applause?
A standing ovation?
But you put on quite a show, really had me going
Now it's time to go, curtain's finally closing
That was quite a show, very entertaining
But it's over now
(But it's over now)
Go on and take a bow
But it's over now
tagg replies:
kenneith: u bad bad la.. saw us yet nv say hi.. so dao de..
so sorry :[ wasnt in the mood that day. we shall meet up soon and do some catching up alrights :]
kenneith: Dun fren u liao.. Bleahs..
dont friend me i beat you arh! :p
its time i let go of everything.its over now.
♥ Date: Saturday, June 27, 2009 @ 9:35 PM
weekends are here again.many things in my mind, bt i know i have to keep myself occupied.went out at around 1015.took bus to clementi central.saw poh khim, peishan and kenneith on 189.didnt really chat with them as the bus was quite packed, and i wasnt in the mood.sorry guys.went to catch transformers at cineleisure with jace.though cineleisure reminds me of many past happenings, life still has to go on & avoiding is never the way to solve problems, especially those in the heart.its really helps to get a friend out for some fresh air instead of letting tots run wild at home and end up crying and feeling the pain all over again.anyways, transformers is quite a nice movie.though predictive plot, the animation was great.the duration of the movie was around two and a half hours :]went off after the movie as he needs to get some projects done online with his group mates.met ryan for a chat after that.he has been rotting at home waiting for enlistment ever since he reached singapore for his medical check up.lazy bum. thnks for trying so hard to make me laugh.friends forever :] BFF! hahas. wheres our plot for the show? :pwe are just friends.
you should know what i mean.
mayb you will never believe my words.
bt it doesnt matter anymore now.
we failed in trust.
all i need now is encourage and friends
im too afraid of love.
♥ Date: Friday, June 26, 2009 @ 10:16 PM
today is my last day of work.just like the previous 'last day', i had so much of mixed feelings.i would really miss all the laughters that we never fail to share every lunch time :[our inside joke, and those codes :X hahas.i will be back! :]my pay is coming in in a week time.guess im gonna spend it like water again, just like the way my mummy describes :phavent do any my tutorials yet and school is strting in 2days time :Sprojects are only half done.exams seems SO NEAR!aerobics on monday! :]nidda burn some fats.ciao!i always admire guys who respect ladies.
♥ Date: Wednesday, June 24, 2009 @ 11:09 PM
today, work as usual.chatted with many people on ebuddy while working.hahas. almost everyone asked me why am i so free.not free, just bored :]went to sign the contract today at HR.found our i was given 8.5 instead of 7 per hr.YAY :] means more mani and pedi on my way :poh ya,got to know a new friend who just joined the company.his name is nathan. quite a nice and gentleman guy i would say.got to know him quite abit this few days -his study pathway in the past and stories of his gf :]is hard to actually meet someone whom you could share thoughts and discussions with.well, i felt quite comfortable chatting with him :]oh, he is 23 this year.anyway,wanna catch transformers or mayb iceage 3 this weekend.time to save some bucks :pnights.im learning to let you go alittle each day,by putting up a strong front &hoping that everything will be OKAY.im not happy, i just LOOKED happy.
♥ Date: Tuesday, June 23, 2009 @ 9:48 PM
these few days had been tough, bt i know i have to make it through.
have been trying my very best not to think about it, telling myself so many times tat its time to move on.
it has reached a time when both of us no longer no how to hold on to the love we once had for each other, simply because theres too many scars, too many problems that lies between the relationship.
since being tgt has alrdy brings too many unhappiness,
i hope we will be happier with way.
i know everything will heal itself eventually.
it just takes time.
im lucky enough to have people around me supporting me and listening to my rantings,my thoughts even though i know i repeated them for many many times alrdy.
anyways,
i promise, i will try my best to be happy and sigh less from now on.have been working lately.
occupying myself as much as possible so that i dont think so much.
manager on long leave, wont be seeing her even till my last day of work.
was thinking of changing to a new blog for a brand new start.
but couldnt find a suitable blogskin i like :]
will get it done SOON!
nights.
loving myself everyday.
i wanna get the brown adidas bottle, i really like it:]
♥ Date: Saturday, June 20, 2009 @ 9:38 PM
dont really have much to say today.
mayb i should say i dont know what should i say.
feeling so down.
im really very disappointed, very hurt.
im just concern about you.
its all you in my heart. its 6am, dont i want to sleep too?
its okay, mayb you really dont need all that i have done for you.
i shall take it that it is all ONE SIDED.
dont wish to have anyone else doing anything to salvage anything.
i guess there really no point when the two person involve cannot solve the problems by themselves.
there will be no end to the fightings over the same problem over and over again.
im tired. very.
i dont wish be become your burden.
im not the one for you, i dont see that you are happy.
like i say, im letting go.
yet you said nothing.
thats how impt i am to you.
i cried and fell aslp in the evening.
does it help solve things?
no, it doesnt make things any better.
but at least, i dont feel so painful inside.
goodnights.
♥ Date: Thursday, June 18, 2009 @ 10:22 PM
taken on my desk, before i ate them :p
fruits day! :]
gotten a box of lychees.
not very sweet though :p
second day of work was much better.
ate lunch at holland tgt.
learnt new stuff regarding the reports database system.
anyways, tmr is friday already. casual day.
one more week to go before getting back my common test results.
ohmytian.
many reports waiting for me to clear tmr :X
nights people.
♥ Date: Tuesday, June 16, 2009 @ 9:21 PM
am i handsome?
Anthony & Amanda
cheeze!
went breakfast tgt with dear in the morning before he goes to work :]
headed home at around 9plus, got changed and travel all the way to toa payoh with mummy.
walked and shopped around and met my aunt.
she brought along two cheeky ones :D
hahas.
both are my cousin kids - meaning, my nephew and niece :]
they are so adorable.
their innocence just simply creates a smile on my face.
sometimes, how i wish i were that young once again,
dont have to think so much, dont have to make choices.
mei you fan nao :]
anyways, ate lunch with them and we went for our appointment at 3pm.
finally chosen our new flat.
level 12 still, gonna have full height window in the living room.
mummy bought me a watch that i love it pretty much :]
headed home after that.
well, will be starting work tmr as promised by me :p
cheers,
goodnights.
i miss you.
♥ Date: Monday, June 15, 2009 @ 8:52 PM
finally had enough sleep.nobody wakes me up in the morning :]went kfc for breakfast tgt with my two sisters.they ate the american twister while i tried the porridge for the first time.well, its pretty nice :]went rebonding with my sister after breakfast.i only got my fringe straighten cause the rest of my hair is still in good condition, i guess :pdid hair treatment as well.the manager for the previous company i worked in call and asked me to go back to work.YAYS. finally gonna have some income :]told them i could only report for work on wednesday as i got to choose head toa payoh with my mummy tmr to choose our new flat, they kindly agreed.anyways,went for pedicure after that :Di cant resist the temptation anymore, knowing that im gonna work from wednesday onwards,knowing that it would look really nice with my peep toes heels,i got it done in the afternoon :pohmytian, i am ADDICTED. met mummy for dinner, home-ed.just had a nap :]drinking hot milo now. hahas.shopping spree with mummy tmr before our appointment at hdb hub:]enjoy your night peeps!
♥ Date: Sunday, June 14, 2009 @ 8:22 PM
photo for today, my younger sister.
left: my french nails right: sis nails :]
hellos!
woke up pretty early today.
daddy went out and brought breakfast back.
the fishballl noodles were really should be meant for piggs :S
noodles like 'bu yong $'.
he went out at around 10plus.
started watching dvds with my younder sister :]
hit gym myself at around 12 plus.
did trackmil and few sets of sit ups.
felt so much 'lighter' :D
hahas.
went back home, wash up and went go out for SUBWAY! :]
we both had over roasted chicken breast, hearty italian♥
didnt manage to finish the two cookies though.
went for MANICURE session.
didnt book appointment, just went :p hahas.
had such a great and relaxing time.
i shall pampered myself again next week with both manicure and pendicure at one go.
i want DARK RED :p
anways, photo above! ♥
i guess i have to strt on my tutorials soon,because the next time i remember, might be the day when school reopens :]---
her name is 'pinkpink' :]cute?
♥ Date: Thursday, June 11, 2009 @ 7:30 PM
finished my last paper today.guess what, i forgot to bring my calculator today.end up panicking like mad :[luckily shunhiang lend it to me first, so i did the calculation questions first.i guess everything would be alright after all.went vivo for movie with the girls after the paper ended at 10.ate lunch at long john after getting the tickets.walked around and went into the pet shop.liying wanted to look at dogs. hahas.they were all so cute! :pbt well, they aint so soft, im afriad they bite :Danyways,watched 'land of the lost'.its pretty entertaining and exciting, i feel:]hahas.headed home at around 4plus.went to trim my fringe.then home-ed.still thinking how should i occupy my time tmr.i dont want to be left alone thinking too much.i really want to heal the wound as soon as possible, though i know its never gonna be easy for me.lead me out of this.. any one?
♥ Date: Wednesday, June 10, 2009 @ 10:23 PM
FRP was okay.
its 'very tutorial'. hahas.
everyone wants to study at home and since the weather was pretty hot,
i decided to go home after my paper at around 12plus.
walked home tgt with liying. chit chatt alittle. love chatting with her :]
anyways, he replied my msg.
he said he was too busy to reply me for the past few days.
well, felt beta when i know he is doing fine,
though i felt a went back a square went i received his msg.
how i wish nothing had happen and that everything would still be same.
i wonder if he had alrdy move on without me,
wonder if i still misses me.
however, i know it is already the past.
i shall stop thinking about it before i strt crying again.
i have to continue to move on!
felt so tired after studying for the whole day since the afternoon.
im still left with half a lecture to go.
guess my only choice is to read it on my way to school for the paper tmr morning, thoug its super last minute.
have to wake up at 620 tmr :[
meeting liying at clementi at 7am.
need to report at 8am.
hopefully there wont be any jam tmr :S
gotta sleep, peeps.
goodnights!
im really glad you replied my msg today.though i know if its in the past, you would have replied me once you receive my msg.i know, my status is different from the past since the day we call it off.im glad to know you are doing fine.hope we can still be closed friends.contact me often alrights.
♥ Date: Tuesday, June 9, 2009 @ 10:14 PM
studied at coffee bean with liying early in the morning.
we met at west coast plaza at 815. we both tot coffeebean was 24hours.
but it isn't. hahas.
so we walked around the empty shopping mall, chatted at a table at MOF :]
went back to coffeebean at 9, since they person preparing told us they operate at 9am.
first customer. even the coffee wasnt ready.
hahas.
so waited for awhile.
ordered double chocolate coffeebase ice blended.
we both had the same tall size.
we were actually sitted inside, but the aircon was too cold.
didnt bring jacket :[
so we moved outside.
studied till 1plus and we both strted to feel abit unwell,
dont really know why,
guess it was the drink.
bought nasi lemak for lunch and ate at cc.
continued to study at the study room till around 4plus.
walked around the plaza and headed home.
manage to memories most of the facts.
though im still afraid i wuld forget some of them tmr.
the last paper on thursay gonna be super early.
so i guess i will be studying at cc tmr again for thursday paper as there is so much more theory to remember :[
will most probably be studying till the evening.
have been skipping most of my meals nowadays.
i just dont feel hungry.
i guess i lost alittle weight, could see it myself in the mirror.
im really trying my best to be the happy girl i used to be.
but it takes time.
you dont have to avoid me.i just want to know if you are doing fine.found someone new in your heart?i really hope you wont choose ignoere me.i feel really lost when you disappar from my life suddenly.guide me back.
♥ Date: Monday, June 8, 2009 @ 7:07 PM
AAA is pretty managable today :]
my hopes are high :p
shared everything with a close friend and i really did felt better.
although sometimes i will still wonder and think: what is he doing, how is he these few days.
however, i know he will be doing fine working as usual, mayb getting to know more choices.
i guess the pain will be lesser as time passes.
life still has to go on, things still has to be done.
i will be strong.
i have never and will never regret choosing to be with him 3years ago, though there were many objections from people around me back then.
its my choice, and if i were to be given a chance to choose again, my choice will still be the same.
for now, 我只想找回自己 :]
im really thankful to have friends around with me when i needed them.
thanks peeps!
-----------------
tagg replies:
pk: jia you!!!
no worries girrl. i will be fine very soon.
thank you for your concern.
call me out soon! :]
ps: you have to jia you... the pain will go off.. jia yous for your exams!!!
yes, the pain will go off eventually.
& only sweet memories will stay.
see you around soon.
jas: be here for u... smile qing ai de... thanks for being there for me these few daysand cheering me up when i cry over the phone. love you girrl.
forgetting someone i love with my heart and soul is never easy.
everything is now a history.
♥ Date: Sunday, June 7, 2009 @ 7:10 PM
hey people.
i know alot of true friend around me are concerned about me these few days.
sorry to let you guys worry.
nobody want unhappy stuff to happen.
neither do i.
well,
it really took me alot of courage to post over here again as im afraid i wuld tear again while typing there.
it has been 4days already.
i have did my best to save the situation but it really takes two hands to clap.
i have decided to respect his stand and decision.
i really do hope you didnt say anything on impluse and it all came from your heart.
i dont wish to talk much about it anymore.
let time heal the pain in my heart.
even if i were to cry again while thinking of all that had happened, which i guess i will most probably does that for another period of time,i will try my very best to move on since you have alrdy chose to. people, nobody dumps nobody.
mayb we aint the right one in each other's live.
both of us might be happier this way, though theres no definite yes to this.
im trying my best to stand strong and make it through this tough period of time.
for now, i just want to do well for my common test tmr!~
if anyone is really concern about me,
please dont ask me why, what happened and try not to mention anything else infront of me.
i just need you guys to be there when im alone. i will share with you about it once i got it over alrights.for those who accompanied me these few day, thnk you so much for spending time tgt with me so that i wont be alone to think about it so much.guys, i really appreciate your concern.i believe time and love of my friends is all i need now.STAY HAPPY, QINGQING! :]be that strong bubbly girl you used to be.a new chapter of my life have just began.you said you didnt want to be hurt anymore.
thats your reason for being so cruel to me.
i guess you will never know you left me crying for the past 4days.
♥ Date: Thursday, June 4, 2009 @ 9:00 AM
SUFFOCATED IS THE WORD
i really cannot see where are we heading.
your sorry seems like it lasted just for a minute.
feeling so exhuasted, so terrible in my heart.
i cried in the restroom, tears just rolled down.
we are heading no where.
you aint there for me.
my tears are all for you.
im strting to lose hope.
baby, mayb will be our finale.
people, sorry for being so emotional these two days.
i dont wish to say much.
i just hope to have some quiet time for myself.
to search for my true self, as well as to reconsider many many things.
not to mention that my common test are coming.
i dont want to be left behind. results shouldnt be affected.
i told myself, i wont run away anymore this time round. not anymore.
forgive and forget aint the solution this time round.
its happening time and again.
i could no longer pretend that nothing happened.
its time for us to face this.
why are you different person when we quarrel.completely different from the one i love.run baby run.dont ever look back.
♥ Date: Wednesday, June 3, 2009 @ 11:52 AM
im really at lost.
from the very beginning, you were never the way others tot about you.
in my heart, i just wanted your true love, true feelings.
not money, not capabilities.
just a comment from one and it turns everything upside down.
issit really so important?
yes, i know, your pride.
but i tot i am everything to you?
nw, it seems like im too naive.
i will rmb what you say the last time i talked to you on the phone.
i swear i didnt side with him.
you are then the dearest to me.
bt u didnt trust me.
you DOUBTED me.
our hearts are linked.
i can feel, and you know it clearly urself.
it has been three years,
if you know me well enough, i dont like things to get violence.
there issnt a need to.
not that you cannot be upset over it.
doesnt confrontation really clear your name?
i tot actions speaks louder than words?
i dont seems to understand you anymore.
you said you will settle it your way.
have you tot about my feelings.
or you just want it your way, the way you are happy with.
you said i didnt stand up for you.
i didnt. my conscious are clear.
i dont nid to report every word it said to you inorder for you to trust me.
no point and defeats the purpose of having trust and confidence between each other.
you said i stop you from getting what you should get.
you said i didnt think for you.
if im that way in your heart.
let me go baby. i wanna say no more.
tell me, how strong is our love..
♥ Date: Monday, June 1, 2009 @ 9:49 PM
woots.im finally done with my fmgt and frp project, though theres still the filming part to be done for frp.anyways, class suppose to start at 12pm, bt i met shun hiang at nine to settle some project stuff :}didnt really do much.sat down tgt, and realised our presentation cum voice over OVER RUN! :Xso we had to guy two guys who spoke slower to quicken their voice over.spend the rest of the time searching for articles related to singapore international trade.it has been for a week and there is hardly an article we could come out with a one page analysis.as usual, got some crap from the lousy search engines.headed for lunch at makan place at around 11.eat the grilled chicken set from the indonesin stall :]gotten myself a diluted ice holick :xthen went for our tutorial followed by lecture after that.stayed in school for project again after all the classes.managed to finalise our fmgt project and we have agreed to make do with the articles we have.no fantastic, bt i guess we can make it through :]felt so sleepy at 4plus 5.almost wanted to put my head on the table to sleep :xhomed at around 6.mummy cook dinner today.it has been a long time she last cooked :pcook more cook more! hahas.classes from 9-1pm tmr.gonna do some revision and get strted with the analysing of the article before its too late.due on wednesday and yet we are still at square one :Snights people :]
